


Crawling Back for More

by nightfallgoddess



Category: Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: Angst, Hurt, M/M, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-01 03:11:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2757377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightfallgoddess/pseuds/nightfallgoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After seeing the preview for next week's episode, I was compelled to make a fic of how the scene would play out. Hope you like!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know many of the Triles fans are upset about how horrible Miles is acting towards Tristan. Believe me, I'm a bit upset myself, but I'm also glad. I'm glad because the writers are actually treating these two as an actual couple. A couple that has their own problems. I hope that we see more development throughout the season! Lyle and Eric are doing a wonderful job portraying their characters and their relationship with each other. It doesn't feel force or awkward when watching. It looks effortless and comfortable, especially the scene with both Tristan and Miles cuddling on the couch. As Triles fans, I feel like we have a higher insight on our boys, more than the average viewer or non-Triles fans. We see what Miles is doing. He's projecting his fear of people leaving him, abandoning him. He's giving Tristan a chance to leave, to get out now, better now than later in their relationship when he has already fallen in love Tristan. It will hurt less. That's heartbreaking if you actually think about it. I think the quote from The perks of being a wallflower, really portrays Miles's story line well " We accept the love we think we deserve."

Crawling Back for More Chapter 1

 

Tristan walked straight to his locker that morning when entering Degrassi High. His strange encounter with Miles that day before had made made him very uneasy and worried. Miles had been floating in his pool smoking a blunt, joking around, not even caring that he stood Tristan up, embarrassing him in front of their whole entire Honors World History class. This was not the Miles he had

Tristan had left as soon as he realized that he couldn't talk any sense into Miles. He made it before the passing period bell, when he ran into Frankie and Chewy. He figured he might as well tell them about what might be going on with Miles. Frankie had suggested conducting an intervention with Miles. That idea sounded good at first, but then he realized that, Miles would hate them for that. He would lash out, and who knew what could happen. He agreed nonetheless, hoping that maybe Miles wouldn't get angry and would listen to them.

He opened his locker and took out his English 209 book from the top compartment. As he reached to close his locker, he felt the presence of another person behind him. Miles. He knew it was him. Miles had a distinct smell, the smell of woods and nature. He turned around to meet Miles in the eye, trying to convey his unhappiness with his eyes. Miles stood still and searched Tristan's eyes.

"Tris," Miles managed to get out, reaching out to grab Tristan's hand, the one that wasn't holding the books. Tristan pulled away slightly and looked down at the books in his hands.

" _Tris_ , I'm sorry and I know I really fucked things up. I should have been there for the presentation," Miles apologized.

Tristan stayed quiet, not replying. Miles let the silence hang for a little while, but when the other boy didn't respond nor look at him, he moved closer.

"Hey... look at me, _please_. I'll make it up to you. I want to make things right, okay?" he says softly, trying to get Tristan to look at him.

When Tristan finally decided to look up from his intense book gazing, he realized that Miles was dressed a bit differently from his usual attire. Miles was wearing a World War II, light brown army jacket with matching pants. It looked exactly like the pictures and uniform fashion they had researched that Thursday afternoon at the Hollingsworth's. He looked like he belonged in that era, he 1930s, with his hair neatly combed and his tall frame.

"I asked Mr. Perino if we could do a do-over today in class, he said he would allow it," Miles explained." I asked my dad for my great grandad's uniform from the war, and he let me wear it to school".

"Fine. Okay, I guess we will present again. Can we talk later? In Mr.Perino's room during lunch?" Tristan asked, earnestly. He, Frankie and Chewy, had decided earlier that during lunch would be the best time to do the intervention. " Yeah...sure. What for?" Miles asked, curiously.

"I...uh...just want to go over some more notes I researched after our work day Thursday" he lied through his teeth. His smile was a little bit too wide and he tried avoiding direct eye contract with Miles,so he focused on Miles's left shoulder.

"Okay, I'll be there" the bell rang as soon as he said this, indicating the beginning of school. They both parted ways to opposite sides of the school. Tristan's heart began to beat faster, knowing that he would have to confront Miles about what was going on with him. He shook his head and entered his first hour class. At that moment, he began counting down the periods until he would meet Miles again, during lunch.

* * *

 

The bell rang at the end of his Consumer Ed class as he began to gather his books into his bag. His phone buzzed, sitting next to his Starbucks coffee. A text from Frankie.

_Frankie: Hey, where are you?_

He replied back, getting up from his seat and heading towards the door.

_Tristan: Heading to Mr. Smith's room. R u and Chewy there already? Have u seen Miles?_

_Frankie: We're around the corner. And yeah, he just walked into the room 2 minutes before the bell rang._

Tristan's heart stuttered. This was actually happening. He got another text, but this time it wasn't from Frankie, it was from Miles. 

_Miles: I'm here, are you coming? I brought lunch for us, hurry before it get's cold._

Tristan smiled as he read the text. Miles had gone to get him lunch. Maybe everything would be alright. He rounded the corner and saw Frankie and Chewy standing near the vending machines. He nodded at the both of them, indicating that it was time. He released  a shaky breath and entered the classroom.

Miles was sitting on Mr. Smith's desk, going over the note cards that they made ealier that week. He looked up as Tristan entered the room. A small smile began on his face and he lifted himself off the desk. Miles's smile suddenly diminished as he looked over Tristan's shoulder to see Chewy and Frankie come into the classroom behind Tristan.

"What are they doing here?" Miles looked at Tristan in question.

"I invited them"

"Why? They aren't even in our class"

"No. I invited them for an intervention... _your intervention_ "

"Wha-" Miles started to say, but Tristan interrupted " Just listen first, Miles, _please_ ". Miles closed his mouth into a thin line, looking between Chewy and Frankie, and lastly landing on Tristan. Tristan could tell that Miles was not liking this, but he felt like he had to go through this, they had to try and help him. He had to try.

"You've been acting really strange lately. You've been irritable, skipping classes, and you were high as a kite when I came to see you yesterday...we..I think you have a weed problem".

 Silence

Miles said nothing. The awkwardness in the room was deafening and uncomfortable. Frankie suddenly piped up behind Tristan.

"Miles, you know Tristan's right. You have a problem and you need to get help. "

Miles quickly turned his head towards his little sister. He nostrils flared and if looks could kill, his gaze at Frankie was murderous.

"I. don't. have.a problem. How many times do I need to tell you people?" Miles's voice was beginning to rise. Chewy walked back to the door and closed it, to keep watch for anybody trying to come in.

"We aren't trying to gang up on you, Miles. We just want to help you." Tristan walked towards Miles. Miles swiftly moved out of the way, walking around Tristan.

"I don't need your help, Tris. You're the one that needs help. And pot is not my problem you people are" he sneered. Tristan looked at him stunned.

"Wha..what are you talking about, Miles?" Tristan's voice shook and he bit his lower lip to keep it from trembling. He started to take a couple steps towards Miles.

"God, you're pathetic"

Tristan stopped in his tracks and looked at Miles with wide eyes.

"Miles, _please_ , I just want you to be okay"

Miles let out a laugh, his face showing utter disgust at Miles. "I treat you like absolute garbage and you keep crawling back for more. Are you really that desperate for somebody to love you?"

Tristan felt as if the whole room was closing in on him.  **Are you really that desperate for somebody to love you**? replayed in his head over and over again. He felt this weird feeling spreading over his skin, like a million ants were crawling over him, and his throat began to hurt. Everything hurt. Everywhere.

He could see Frankie and Chewy looking at each other with worry in their eyes. Miles was still looking at him. His expression cold and hard. Tristan could feel the rise of a panic attack. Frankie must have seen the warning sign, because she quickly made her way to Tristan, moving Miles out of the way. She grabbed Tristan's arm and pulled him towards the door. Tristan felt as if his legs were cemented to the floor, unable to move; he was still in shock, unsure if he was going to cry or if he was just angry.

As they passed Miles, Frankie turned around slightly and gave Miles a disgusted look, saying " You're an ass, Miles, _god_ ".

"Oh, did I upset little Frankie?", Miles retorted. "Good. Because you don't know the hell your talking about. You think just because you're dating Winston, you can play with the big kids?" his words spit like venom.

He then walked to the desk he had previously sat on and grabbed the bag that carried he and Tristan's lunch. Miles proceeded to the trashcan next to the door and dumped the bag in it. Without a backwards glance he opened the door and walked out of the classroom.Tristan could hear his heart breaking every step that Miles took, leaving him behind.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tristan's romantic gesture doesn't go as planned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't planned to make this a two chapter fic... but I felt after seeing the small promo of Miles and Tristan in the gym.. that it would work well with my " Crawling Back for More" fic.

Crawling Back for More Chapter 2

The gym in Degrassi was quiet, thick with the smell of wax from the Janitors, and empty. Tristan crouched down on his knees on the laid out blanket and tried to imagine Miles sitting down across from him, dark brown hair in the way of his eyes and a small upturned smirk.

"He probably won't show up," he said regretfully, reaching over to grab a rose from the vase in the middle of his little makeshift romantic dinner. He checked his phone for the time. He told Miles that he should meet him in the gym at 5 pm. It was now 30 minutes after said time. He said that he would be there. Miles _needed_ to be there.

Letting out a small defeated sigh, he began to clean up the area in front of him, carefully gathering the origami cranes and flowers that he spent hours making to perfection. The sound of the gym door slamming closed made him jump slightly. He looked up to see Miles walking his way, a little limp to his step.

"Miles," he said quietly to himself as the other boy approached.

Ever since the failed intervention, things had been tense between them. Tristan had tried everything to apologize to Miles, calling him, texting, even going over to his house. But all Miles did was shut him out, distancing himself from Tristan.

That morning, he found Miles in the boys locker room smoking a blunt, clearly high as a cloud. Tristan was so damn tired of Miles pushing him away, so he decided to be a little more forceful in his approach. He forced Miles to look at him and with all the strength he could muster in his voice, Tristan told Miles that they needed to talk, and that he wasn't going to receive a "no" for an answer. Miles's green eyes had gone wide for a second and then clouded back, "fine. But you get one shot and one shot only," Miles had said.

Now, Tristan found himself tightening his kimono top that he had purchased from a thrift shop as Miles finally appeared in front of him. The brown headed boy seemed to loom over Tristan, his eyes darker than usual.

"Hey," he said.

No reply.

"Sit down, please," Tristan gestured to the blanket.

He watched as Miles sank down on the gym floor. He didn't miss the uncomfortable way that Miles closed his eyes slightly as he moved his legs to the side. Tristan wandered what was causing Tristan so much pain. He searched his eyes around Miles's body to check for bruises, but could not detect any. 

"Thanks for coming," he said.

There was no reply again from the other boy and Tristan knew that this was not going to be a stroll in the park from they way that Miles's jaw was clenched.

"God Miles, could you please just look at me?" he asked tersely.

When Miles did finally look up, Tristan could not believe how worn out he looked. Bags under his eyes, his skin was paler than his usual olive, and his lips were red and bleeding as if he had been chewing at them repeatedly.

"Miles-", Tristan started

"Whatever you're about to ask me- don't", Miles interjected coldly. " I came here to hear you out and nothing else. This isn't about me and my so called "problems", got it?", Miles's eyes narrowed.

Tristan didn't respond for several tense seconds. His eyes bore into Miles, trying to search for something...anything that he could find. But the eyes that he saw were cold and impassive.

"Okay." He softly replied.

Maybe this was a bad idea, Tristan thought to himself. Everything that he had rehearsed in his head was slowly leaving his mind like white fog on a morning day. 

"What did you want to say? You asked me to come here and you're not saying anything. Stop wasting my time, Tris" Miles began to get up from the floor.

" **Sit down** "

Tristan was angry. He was so damn angry. He couldn't believe that he went through all this time and trouble to make this a romantic gesture to apologize to Miles and he was acting like a jerk. This whole time, he had been blaming himself for everything, thinking to himself that if hadn't pushed, maybe Miles would still be with him.

"I am _so_ sick and tired of this!", Tristan's voice raised in the quiet gym, causing Miles to sit back down.

"Tired of what, Tristan?" he could see a smirk on that smug face.

" _This_. **You**. You shutting me out, allowing yourself to close me out. I care about you, Miles. Why the hell can't you see that? Why do you insist on tearing down everything between us?"

Tristan reached out to grab Miles's hand across the blanket but the other boy recoiled his hand from the touch. Hurt coursed throughout his body settling at the pit of his stomach.

"What do you want from me?" Miles asked

"What do I want from you? I don't want anything, Miles. I just want you. I want to see your eyes crinkle at the corner when you smile, your laugh, your-", his voice cracked at the end. 

Tristan bowed his head. He was silent for a moment before taking a shaky breath."I know you think I-I'm pathetic, and maybe I am. But, don't you dare think that I'm pathetic for loving you."

_Silence_

"You don't love me..." Miles said quietly.

"Yes, I do," Tristan replied.

"Stop, Tristan. Stop making this more difficult than it needs to. You don't love me and _I_ don't love you. We never should have gotten together in the first place"

"Miles-"

"You know nothing about love, Tristan" 

"Mr. Ya-"

"No. Mr. Yates didn't love you. He _used_ you. You were nothing but a warm mouth for him. And you still, wanted to defend him after your little affair got revealed. You are so fucking needy for somebody to love you, that you got taken advantage of by a teacher. How _desperate_ can you be?" Miles shook his head.

"Do you honestly think that, that idiot actually loved you? Well, he didn't. And I don't," Miles snarled.

Miles got up from the gym floor for the second time that night and walked out of the gym, leaving Tristan heartbroken for the second time. He shook his head to stop the beginning of tears forming in his eyes.

He was still in shock. The shock, slowly rose to anger. He kicked the vase filled with flower, causing it to topple over and break into millions of pieces on the floor. He then turned to the paper origami figures, grabbing several and ripping them up into pieces on his lap.

The moisture he had tried so hard to contain inside finally found it's way down his cheeks. The sound of his sobs filled the vacant gym and he kept wandering why everyone kept leaving him, first Grant, then Maya, and now Miles. This was the third time that Miles had used the concept of love to hurt him and Tristan decided in that moment that it would be the last time. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music for this chapter  
> Sia- Be Good To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Music for this fic
> 
> Latch- Sam Smith


End file.
